What is the world becoming to? I'm already in a lousy mood. I still can't believe Linda's gone. I'm trying hard to hold back the tears. And here's my mom, screaming at me. I mean literally screaming. Gimme a break. I'm mourning for my dear lost friend in my heart. Quit hitting hard at me! The same stuff, that I never do any housework, just sit around at home, not finding a job during the holidays, only know how to enjoy life and stretch out my hands to ask money from them. I'm sick of my life. Nothing I do seems to satisfy my mom. NOTHING! I dunno what to do anymore. Just finished packing some stuff of secondary school. Mom was practically screaming her head off me. I really feel like slapping her shitless. I know that's wrong. That's why I held back my temper, held back my tongue. I just wish I can move out, live my own life. I'm wondering, if I ever become a parent myself, I'll never put my child down. I'll never imply meanings that he's worthless, nor he's incapable, nor will I comment that he's not smart nor intelligent like what I'm subjected to by my mom. I remember when I finished my A-levels, awaiting for my results, one can always hear her rentless comments about me not being able to make it to the university. To her, my elder brother is the apple of her eye. The desktop was paid by my dad. While I'd to slog my F***king ass out to buy myself a celviano. Not only was money the factor, I'd to persuade them to allow me to buy the piano! Freedom? Sorry. I've no idea what's that.

Gracie commented that she's suprised that I've not rebelled. How can I? I don't see the use of rebellion. For once, I've no idea how to express my frustrations. I dun wish for tomorrow to arrive. If tomorrow arrives, means I'll be attending Linda's wake, which in turn means that I'm forced to believe that she's gone. Life's unfair! Linda shouldn't be lying in the coffin now. She should be out there enjoying her weekend, should be out there enjoying her youth. WHY!? SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!? WHY MY FRIEND? WHY ME?! FUCK! TELL ME!